A Drink Called Loneliness
by Bolt of Tien Mu
Summary: A reflection on the night after the final round of the Dark Tournament, from each boy's point of view.


Author's notes: Not meant to be a song fic, but inspired by the snip of Piano Man. God, that song is far to inspirational for my own good. I don't think I'm violating any established plot at the end of the dark tournament, so I still plan to have my fun.

Warnings: Shonen-ai sorta, drinking, angst, hopefulness.

A Drink Called Loneliness  
A Yu Yu Hakusho Angst Fic by Kitsuneko

_[Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness  
But it's better than drinkin' alone]_

Yusuke leaned back in his chair, raising his glass to an absent person, and practically poured the drink into his mouth. The glass reconnected with the table with a dull thud, still half full, while Yusuke was still half empty. It was their final evening at the Kubikukuri hotel, the tournament was finished, and Yusuke was left with an hollow in his chest that he was vainly trying to fill with alcohol. Certainly, there was cause to celebrate; they had won, made some new friends, and defeated Toguro. But Yusuke had lost one of the few people who had ever really tried with him. People had always just given up on him, making excuses for why he wasn't worth the trouble. But she... she had never put up with his crap, but she had always put up with *him*. And now, she was gone and Yusuke blamed himself for it. After his dazzling display of spiritual fireworks before the final round, he had felt better. He still did, in a way. But the sorrow still gnawed at him and the alcohol was helping the process along. And it was the only thing that seemed to dull the pain, so he just kept drinking. "A drink for every tear."

* * *

Kuwabara lurched forward, trying to reach Yusuke's upraised glass, but missed and fell backwards, letting the motion continue to dump the contents of his own glass into his waiting mouth. His satisfaction ran deep, having finally brought justice to the Toguro brothers and completed the competition. And gales of laughter spilled past his liquor soaked lips, finding humor in anything and nothing at once. But under the laughter, there was a hint of sorrow that edged at despiration. In his advanced state of drunkeness, he could not put his mind to it exactly, yet... He had a vague feeling of loss, like something had been taken from them. The old lady, certainly, but more. Like the tournament had robbed them of some part of themselves, leaving a small but painful hole in their spirits. His smile pulled at the corners of his eyes with a little too much insistence and the alcohol and laughter flowed a little too freely. "Laughter for everything that's missing."

* * *

Kurama sipped at his drink in slow consideration, oblivious to the antics of the other two, before standing and stumbling up to his hotel room. He had reencountered something during this tournament. It had been so long since he had really felt the spirit inside of him, who he had once been. He was always there, being carefully balanced against the human spirit who should have had his body, but in battle... it had been like the two were standing face to face, for the first time since before his body's birth. He thought of the bottle of liquid that was tucked safely in his pack, the Fruit of Past Life. Thinking of these things always left him with such regret, an emotion he despised, yet felt acutely. He could remember all the events of his former existance, and each person who had touched his life. When he found Hiei in the room, he did not resist his drunken advances. "A kiss for everyone I left behind."

* * *

Hiei savored the bittersweetness of Kurama's mouth and the pleasantly clouded state of his brain. Though he would not admit it to anyone else, the tournament had forced him to embrace things he had never desired to attempt. He felt... abused, like something precious had been stolen out from under him. Things seemed to be changing rapidly, spinning out of control, as he found himself allied with the team, harnessing the power of the Dragon, dealing with the presence of his sister, and the flurry of emotions that he couldn't seem to swallow. Each day, he seemed to abandon some aspect of himself to a whipping wind, that carried them far away, leaving him alone with himself. He ceased his efforts to bite back the influences of the drink and permitted those emotions temporary free range, as he enjoyed the pleasurable company of the youko. "A new promise for every old one I break."

* * *

The sky lightened from comfortless velvet black to a bottle-glass blue that gave the refreshing feeling of a sudden blow to the head. But no one on the team would be awake soon enough to witness it. Yusuke and Kuwabara slept with their arms still slung over each other's shoulders, both their faces streaked with tears that both would ignore for their own sake. Kurama and Hiei were in each others arms, disheveled but still clothed, having passed out before anything less devastating than admission of total devotion could take place. And as dawn slithered over the horizon, as hung over, it seemed, as the rest of the team, each member awoke, feeling groggy,confused, and, strangely, no longer lonely.


End file.
